Approaching....

At this time next week I will have had my first, possibly second radiation treatment. Not to mention it will be Jack's 3rd birthday and the day before Emma starts kindergarten. Talk about when it rains it pours. Isn't it funny that life never just gives you one thing at a time? Joe always says god has a funy sense of humor, I think that is a good and positive way to look at it!

Well I would be lying if I told you I'm not nervous, scared,upset, sad,mad and any other emotion you can think of. I have faith it will all be ok, but until it is, I am having a hard time moving past the what I am going through right now. For a long time I have not let myself feel upset about my situation, but I decided maybe if I just felt how I felt and worked through my feelings I could truly move past them. We'll see, here's to hoping!!

My appointment is next Monday August 16th at 10am. Joe is going to be with me, and the kids will spend the morning with a girlfriend of mine. From my understanding of this process I should be perfectly fine immediatley following my first treatment. It's over the course of a few days to weeks that I will be extremely fatigued and possibly sick. I keep thinking of what the radiation oncologist said to me last Wednesday...." If you are a lucky person, you will go through the treatment and it will work and you will have no side effects, if you are an unlucky person it won't work and you will have every side effect." I was crying and I just laughed and said, "well look at my file, I am clearly NOT a lucky person." Dr. Gaspar says to me " there are many people out in the waiting room that would love to change places with you." This made me think, I am lucky... I am lucky to have a great medical team looking out for what is best for me, lucky to have have an amazing husband and kids, lucky to have an unbelievable supportive family, and so lucky to have so many friends that are like family willing to provide me with endless amounts of love and support! So as I walk into that office next week, I am going to remind myself, again and again how lucky I am. What I would like from each of you is to also remind yourself again and again how lucky you are. You are all such blessings in not only my life but so many others. Thank you for being my rock through this extremely draining process. I am looking forward to celebrating the ending of this, by the first week in October!!