Meeting with the Radiation Oncologist

There are some things I think people should never have to do in their lifetime, but still many do. I think walking through the doors of a Cancer center to be treated for Cancer or not for Cancer is one of those things. Today I had to do this. I met with Dr. Laurie Gaspar, she is the chief radiation oncologist at the University Colorado Hospital. My appointment was at 8:30am this morning. I walked in and was greeted by a man that said he would be my host for the day. I found this to be irritating, because this was not a place I wanted to be. However, I do appreciate that the staff knows this is a hard thing for patients and their families so they are trying to make it the most enjoyable experience possible. Everyone was very nice and very informative. I sat down with a 4 year medical student (it is a teaching hospital, so this is to be expected. I have learned this over the course of all my treatment.) I chatted with him about my story, he went to get Dr. Gaspar and we went over it with her. She listened to the story, looked at my MRI and quickly came to the conclusion that she thought having the stereo tactic radiation treatment would be to risky for me. She said that my residual tumor is only 3-4 mm away from my optic nerve, which is to close. The whole area that will be radiated is only 1.2 cm I know you all are thinking the same thing I was, that is SO small. Regardless of how small it is, it is not safe to do that type of radiation. So, the plan is to do the fractionated radiation. This means a lower dose over a longer period of time. This to be exact will be for 5-6 weeks everyday Monday through Friday down at the University Colorado Hospital. Once again, I was deflated! I was assured that it should be fairly simple with little side effects. My biggest side effect will be fatigue, and possibly nausea and headaches. She then took me to the CT scan room where they fitted me for my 'head piece' for the next 6 weeks. I will wear this during my treatments, which shouldn't last more than 20 minutes once they begin. The whole process of fitting me for my mask was unnerving. I sat and said over and over again the our father prayer. The other big development of today was that they want to begin the radiation on August 16th. A month sooner than I had anticipated! I am asking you all to say an extra Our father for me tonight, as well as everyday over the next 6 weeks. I am very scared, and don't want to do this. I know this is what the next step in this journey is, but it isn't making it any easier for me. Please think of Joe, Emma & Jack. Pray that they all can get through this with little interruption. Also pray for my family and Joe's family. They are such an amazing support group for me. They have all offered to help Joe and I with the kids, as well as accompany me to my treatments. I think we are all scared, but know this will work, and that I will be drug free and in remission in the next 24 months. As always thank you all for you love and support!

I have attached the picture of the mask I will wear during my treatments. It is used to bolt me to the table so I don't move during. Yes, it really is as horrible as it looks!